do you like to hurt?

attención!

2003-11-25T03:22:29Z

GOODBYE ML4387

HELLO _cashmere ! = molly

ADD IF YOU WANT.

I'M NOT SURE YET. KTHXBYE

major realization?

2003-11-12T20:55:38Z

I got a C- on my calculus test. It killed me, along with my average, which dropped from an A- to a B. I cried. It forced me to look more closely at my life. Epiphany? Success is important to me but I'm now realizing that it can't be the determinant of my happiness.

I've always wanted A's, and only A's. why? I thrived on them. It's all I had to hold on to, or so I thought. I always thought that I was SUPPOSED to be perfect, I was MEANT to be the best, and that when I succeeded in that, I would "win" - I don't know what I was expecting. I am not the best at anything, and I believe that is why I'm always so fucking screwed up in the head. I'm always upset because everyday I am reminded of how i'm not the smartest, most talented, prettiest, or most charming. Well, Molly, time for a 180 - not in myself, but in my perspective (...notice the past tense)

Now that I know why I'm so messed up, I can change myself. I will to learn to accept myself for who I am, because I am me, and life is not a race. Life is something I alone must fulfill. My life is not "supposed to" be better than yours, or his or hers.

While I'm feeling especially philosophical...I have a lot to be thankful for. There are so many people and things in my life that I am incredibly lucky to have. Thank you.

happy halloween

2003-11-02T21:03:14Z

h-ween = halfday. coldstone's with the Girls hoping to see darren. nope. so then we went to my house and kind of slept because we were bored. really.

afterwards watched the debut, and then trick-or-treating dressed as asian girls (hookers, according to byron) - but the best part is: RICKY TEMPESTA CAME TO MY HOUSE. and we made him dance. he's this .. really huge kid. hhaha. and we made him eat, a lot. and ~~i will definitely upload pics of this ricky i speak of~~

marching band state championships last night - FIRST PLACE meaning we won state championships!! 89.55! (2nd=88.85) oh yeahh. you know it. and i love freshmen boys.

hate it when people complain about people on their ljs and don't disclose names. but here goes. there is this person. and she should FUCKING LIGHTEN UP. and we don't exactly need you anyway.

um .. i wrote a poem for the literary contest. maybe, since that girl who got 1st place last year left, 2nd place (aka me) will be able to step up. yeahh..

i failed my chem test

2003-10-11T03:57:01Z

my mom bought bandaids for my mangled fingers. from stevens grip and the crash cymbals. if it werent for these you could look at my hands and make fun of me. but i guess you still can

yesterday steph and i did the cha cha slide on my deck with my two neighbors dan and chris. they are so cute lol yeah and they're 7 and 11. we chilled in the backyard and listened to hiphop. haha. yo.

i gained 10 lbs in a month. hahah!

I have no homework. I AM SO HAPPY. And i got a 75/75 on my history paper.

you know i always criticize other people's ljs and blogs or whatever, like if they brag. but actually who really cares, its their journal. and what am i talking about

..yeah. happy birthday steph's mom!

things

2003-09-25T21:28:02Z

today stephanie and i met up with isaac for .. less than an hour.

i dont post anymore because .. i have problems.

in other news i have no friends

note: i'm not feeling sad or anything. just kind of blank. nothing wrong with that.
today'squote-mymom,"you're lucky you look like me" .. lol

and as the summer's ending..

2003-09-04T02:41:16Z

Everyone likes melodrama. So...

OMG THE SUMMER IS ENDING KILL ME I WANT TO DIE THIS SUMMER WAS THE BEST WHY DOES IT HAVE TO END?
-but-
I AM SO EXCITED! THIS YEAR WILL DEF BE GREAT I KNOW IT

/end melodrama. today i finished my summer assignments up! i DID it. hahah! hah.

then me and steph met darren and eric for dinner at the Hunan House in Upper Montclair. Mrs. Lu gave us a discount hahah THANKS MICHELLE'S MOM! anyway, that was sort of random and fun. a BOSS way to end the summer.

see you in school assholes!! =D <33

get out, whoo!

2003-08-19T02:46:24Z

new livejournal layout. yellow makes me sick. i <3 spirited away.

HAVE YOU EVER...
Hit someone forcefully: yeah, rainbowripple.
Seen "Are you Afraid of the Dark": of course
Thrown anything at a moving car: no
Been in a fist fight: no
Laughed so hard you cried: well, not *cried* lol
Hit an animal in the road? no

OTHER
Who do you sit with at lunch: i don't know yet. school is still two weeks away
Do you think Justin Timberlake is hot or not: he's cute, i guess.
Who gave you a Valentine card this year: no one. how sad.
Favorite shoes you own: uhm. none really
What color would you dye your hair: lighten it a bit. a neutral brown.
Who are you closest friends: stephanie, jessica, sam.
What is something you wish you could have that someone else has: no one has him...
Favorite TV show: none..
Make-up or none: light make-up
Do you believe we landed on the moon: yeah...
What are you wearing now: some lounge clothing ...
What song is stuck in your head: listening to billy x - ss

JUNK
How old are you mentally: i'd say 65
Describe yourself in 5 words: well you know the usual
Do you dream at night: sometimes
Do you remember your dreams: i remember some
Do you sleep with one pillow or two: more
Do you like school: no
Whats ur fave subject: english. was.
Do you have a best friend(s): yes
Do you have a religion: you could call it that
Do you practice it: no
Does death scare you: i guess.
Do you watch tons of tv: no
How many times have you been to the movies in the past 6 months: a lot of times
Do you read magazines: yeah
Whats your fave band: harvey danger
Name 3 cds that youve bought in that last year: none, i download lol
Do you wear makeup regularly: yeah
Are you a saver or a spender: saver

MORE JUNK
Can you live without the microwave: sure
Who's phone number are you hoping to get: no one's
Which guy/girl do you wish to be with RIGHT now: hahah right now i want to go to sleep
Would you rather eat sandwiches or pasta for the rest of your life: pasta
Football or rugby: football
What's something you ALWAYS have on you: my cell phone
What do you think of guys with nailpolishes: eh preferably no
What's a happy memory of a time you've spent with the opposite sex: hmm.. happy memory, happy memory...
What's the nicest thing any one has ever told you: that i was pretty and i should be a model. haha poor child.
What's your favorite fastfood restaurant:
Favorite book: To Kill A Mockingbird

MORE MORE JUNK
Did you read Fear Street books: Yeah, lol
How about Sweet Valley High: no
Babysitter's club: no
Goosebumps: a few
Favorite show on nickelodeon (can be from the late 80's/early 90's when nick was good): this is a good survey. um - DAVID THE GNOME
Do you like anyone: yeah...
If so, who: i'm not very open about it
Favorite cereal: cinnamon toast crunch. soggy!
Favorite 80's television show: cheers!!!!!
Do you think the grinch movie starring jim carrey was a waste of money: no, it was okay.
What do you want for your birthday this year: same thing as last year
What movie could you watch a million times and never get tired of: spirited away
What movie do you hope you never see again: danton
What's the best restaurant you've ever eaten at: aristocrat
What is the one thing in the world that just looking at it makes you vomit, or come close to it: tubgirl.com even though i've never looked at it
Do your clothes match: most of the time
Did you have a bike with a banana seat: no, you weirdo
Could you ride it: what's a banana seat?
Have you lived in the same house your entire life: no
What was the last song u heard: billy s - skye sweetnam. catchy. last quality song ... the strokes - last night
Find anything good on sale lately: not really.
If you won the lottery, what would you do: invest!
How old is your tomagotchi: it's dead. and its tAmagotchi.
Ever seen a Beatles film: no?
Happy with your life: generally so.

sirius is my hero

2003-06-30T00:15:57Z

Went to NYC on Friday. UNICEF interview - I'm going to work two of UNICEF giftshops. How exciting. No pay, but retail experience - AND HOURS.

Read Harry Potter and the Order Of The Phoenix in the last few days. It was really good, JKR must have had a difficult time writing it, trying to live up to all the glory of her the previous books... bravo, though. I won't ruin anything for any of you, not to worry. I don't spoil books for people, unlike others...

I was thoroughly upset when Sirius died. I get into books way too much. This wave of sadness like swept through me - no I didn't cry - but it was too horrible. Sirius was the greatest guy ever, he was so noble and cool and ... oh, poor Harry. Hm. It was cute when Ron started rubbing his cheek where Hermione had kissed him, lol. Cho was annoying. Uhh.. oh yes, it was creepy how I saw myself in Harry. His actions, thoughts, position - many things - were all too familiar to me. I don't know. It sort of just creeped me out. I was happy with how Harry was angry all the time, acting like a real person. It was sort of nauseating at times, but at least he had finally started to grow up, not in a mean way of course. - do not comment if you don't want to spoil it for yourself, considering the comment page is one in the same as what this link leads to.

Summer has finally began to set in. Reading a 850+ book doesn't really fall into the relaxation category - I get agitated when I read for too long - but I would never have been able to do so during the school year. June is coming to a rapid end, and July is not so far away. Summer is slipping away...

Well... well, when August comes around, I mean. I get paranoid about the length of summer vacation. I hope I make the best of this one.

Went to the mall with Stephanie on Thursday. We tried on some of those hoochie terrycloth outfits. Hahaha. How comfortable. Seriously. We walked to the cinema (oh Molly's going British now, is she) but the power went out (100 degrees, remember?) so we got these free drink coupon things. RIGHT ON. mm

I love clothes. I love H&M. I love Harry Potter. I love cherries. Cherry picking today. Yep.

feliz primer día del vacación

2003-06-25T20:35:47Z

So this is what summer feels like. sort of void, actually. It's the first day of vacation, so what can I expect?

I've been in such a backwards mood ... I'm supposed to be messy and unorganized since school is out. But instead, I've organized my desk(s), my room, and decorated stuff. I'm 75% through my Calculus summer assignment, and I started A Prayer for Owen Meany which so far is a great book.

So relieved that school is over though. And graduation. I was literally baking in the sun, but once it sank behind the school building, it got really cool and nice... afterwards, my mommy and daddy came to pick up the marimba. Taking mallet lessons over the summer. Then I took a NICE LONG SHOWER

Going into the city on Friday. I have an "interview" with this man from UNICEF. I hope I don't sound too eager/awkward/stupid. I probably will. Hope that doesn't make a difference.

100 degrees tomorrow.

um, we're sort of young

2003-06-24T01:42:27Z

final exams:

spanish-95

english-89

chemistry-99

history-100

precalc-95

All I have to say about that is ... I'm really happy.

I was at this Chinese buffet place with Stephanie, and while we were peacefully having dessert, this black guy, I'm guessing around 30 years old ... a big guy ... comes up to us and asks us if we'd like to go out to lunch sometime with him and his friend.

HAHAHHA. Not to be mean. It's just that it's sort of random? Two random 16 y/o Asian girls?? mmmhmm, of course, we had to turn him down lol

night before the english final

2003-06-19T00:33:55Z

Good evening you sickos. I really hate studying for finals, especially English. Which leads to .. why am I here ...

A Separate Piece of Sushi's world premiere was yesterday. Me and the girls were a little uncertain about the response we thought we'd get, but turns out everyone really liked it. Thank God. I take back the time I said "All those fucking hours we spent working on this ... my life is a complete waste" lol

Yeah I don't think I have much more to say. We got our yearbooks yesterday, so I had some people sign it ... I wonder what time school lets out tommorow, since I only have my English and Chem final.

No more Frazier and Sepcie - today was my last full day. I must say I will miss old Fraz even though she's basically the hardest teacher in school. Oh, no more Señor either. That's sad too. I don't think I'll miss Sepcie that much though, since she's the volleyball "coach" - er

Soo, no more gym. No more real band. But finals make it that much more difficult to see the actual end of the year

Should study.

ml4387
Magic Number	8
Job	Leader of the Free World
Personality	Sunshine And Blue Skies
Temperament	What You Lookin' At?
Sexual	If I Have To
Likely To Win	Some Lubricant
Me - In A Word	Divine
Colour
Brought to you by MemeJack

- stolen from Adlin

ml4387 @ 2003-06-04T23:23:00

2003-06-07T04:18:02Z

Today = lab day. Meaning no gym. Meaning no sweat. Meaning more Taylor! I love lab days.

I really love Catcher in the Rye. It sure as anything is getting much slower, plot-wise, but I still love Holden. Holden <3 <3 <3

Gonzalez wasn't here. I could have died. I really could have. I was drinking one of those bottled Starbucks Mocha Fraps today, so I was shaking all day long. With ENERGY. It was sort of ridiculous. Anyway, pre-calc was heaven, in a way. I worked on homework most of the period. Hah. Energy.

Afterschool I went to the nurse with Jess to finish up our physicals. I thought it was important that you should know I lost muscle, so in turn, my body weight went down, but my body fat ratio .. thing ... went up. Yeah.

Then Steph, Jess, Sam, Mish, and I filmed a scene in VHS. Frazier is a terrific actress. She really is. I wanted to laugh, but I couldn't because I was holding the camera. If you see the movie you can see me convulse whenever it gets funny.

Band Banquet! Uh, Music Banquet, right. Got there one fashionable as hell hour late with Stephanie. Big mallet girl entrance, let me tell you. During the slide show, you should have seen the audience when they showed mallet girl pictures. It was almost insane.

Really, it was. Silence. Got the Vocal Award thing, since no one in my grade likes to help out in Chorus except for slightly energetic people like me. People liked my disgustingly Asian-Americanfied dress, so that was nice.

Bake sale tomorrow! I didn't bake my sugar cookies =(