urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:ml4387 I DO I DO Molly 2038-01-19T03:14:07Z urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:ml4387:25773 2038-01-19T03:14:07Z 2038-01-19T03:14:07Z rusted root - send me on my way I got a C- on my calculus test. It killed me, along with my average, which dropped from an A- to a B. I cried. It forced me to look more closely at my life. Epiphany? Success is important to me but I'm now realizing that it can't be the determinant of my happiness.<br /><br />I've always wanted A's, and only A's. why? I thrived on them. It's all I had to hold on to, or so I thought. I always thought that I was SUPPOSED to be perfect, I was MEANT to be the best, and that when I succeeded in that, I would "win" - I don't know what I was expecting. I am not the best at anything, and I believe that is why I'm always so fucking screwed up in the head. I'm always upset because everyday I am reminded of how i'm not the smartest, most talented, prettiest, or most charming. Well, Molly, time for a 180 - not in myself, but in my perspective (...notice the past tense)<br /><br />Now that I know why I'm so messed up, I can change myself. I will to learn to accept myself for who I am, because I am me, and life is not a race. Life is something I alone must fulfill. My life is not "supposed to" be better than yours, or his or hers.<br /><br />While I'm feeling especially philosophical...I have a lot to be thankful for. There are so many people and things in my life that I am incredibly lucky to have. Thank you.